It's Okay, Robot

We sat in a cemetery drinking a mixture of wine and bleach, with the sun as a light source, until everyone called me goth. We injected novocain into people’s mouths in a sterile room, under fluorescent lights, until everyone called me a dentist. I wasn’t really either of those things, I just thought if I did what you did I would understand why I will take the bus a great distance to see you, and why I don’t care that you usually have no face, and when you do its only feature is a beard. Finally I replaced all the lights with an enormous scented candle that stank so badly of vanilla that all anyone could say was “My eyes are burning,” and no one could see me kiss you.